Shinobibatchi

I've been away for Earth knows how long, though I think I've come a long way spiritually, and physically for that matter.  And, haven't really been able to post here anything picture related (because my Tablet broke), but I'm going to try to fix it sometime today.  Here's hoping it works afterward.  Though, I don't have a program to run with it...I'll get to those problems as they come.  That's how you have to deal with the world.

First of all, I've been gone mainly because of work.  Which I'm now looking for a new job, anyway I had a job that essentially let me work, eat, and sleep.  And because my survival depended on it, I couldn't change my lot in life.  Though I guess things are different now.

Moved to Portland, OR about two weeks ago, and am looking for a job that I know I would be able to do, and then get my life re-stabilized, if it ever was.  Chaos is life I guess, but here's hoping I can find something.  My first book is off and away to Publishers, and hopefully it's accepted by TOR or ACE.  That would be nice.  Not really helpful, seeing as I'm already bankrupt, but at least I wouldn't starve.

That's been the gist of things.  I'll try to post some things, though I don't know when.  We don't have internets yet, but eh...

Later Days

Its time to start editing and work more on my next piece.  Its gonna be a long process.  I got to clean up Paranormal Book 1...a lot...a lot, a lot.  I'm thinking of enjoying myself this week though.  My best friend is coming up tomorrow, and I intend to enjoy every minute of the time I have to spend with him when I'm not at fricking work...  I need to get Paranormal published so that way I can focus on my writing instead of a crappy job that doesn't do anything but barely pay my bills.  

But I digress.  I need to keep up with more.

Later Days

And on the first draft too.  

Okay, I still need heavy editing, but the book is publishable.  To say I am in an elated mood right now is an understatement.  A monumental understatement, but I can't really bring the feeling of excitement and joy to proper life with words.  I kind of wish I had the money to eat out...to celebrate as you will, but unfortunately I do not possess such wealth.  Though, I like the sounds that its publishable.  ^-^

And it makes me want to be in the creative mood. I'm working on chapters for a couple of my fanfics that I never really forgot, and I might just out rewrite the set with my new skills and in my more refined style.  Call them like, Final Mix or something.  I'm not really sure.  I just look at those old ones now and gag.  That I actually wrote that.  It makes me feel a little humbled that they were that bad, but I want to breath the new life into them.  See if they are as popular now as they were then.  See if I can make them better than they were.  If you know what I mean.  

The only question is.  Should I post them on my fanfiction.net page, or just here on DA for those of you who watch me.  I have some special DA only stories that I would love to share with you all.  Get everyone excited to read stories from my universe, and maybe even get some fanarts.  I'm all about my fans, and I will always be about you guys.  So, please stick with me on this journey.

Later Days.

Been feeling rather vulnerable as of late, but this isn't really the place to talk about things like that.  Even though I feel it should be.  I don't want someone to use the things I write here as a way to attack me.  Like how my old account was used.  

Anyway, I digress.  I'm vulnerable, and its kind of disconcerting.  I'm starting to question my feelings of wanting to be a girl, then again I've always been questioning it.  Like is it real, or is it just for cosplay purposes.  Or is it something else.  

All this is coupled with the feelings that I am a person who just can't do anything right.  I try to save money, and add my credit card to the number (not really just add it and my savings together to let me know how much I have ready for getting out of small town life) so that I have more, and then am scolded for it in a way.  But once again, I digress.  The point I'm trying to get at is I don't feel that I'm the type of person that is capable of saving money.  Because I do it, and then I have to use it just to make sure I can live.  That's how its been for a while, well since about mid December.  I had shitty hours for no apparent reason so it was hard for me to just pay my bills, but now I'm back on track to actually try saving.  I hope.

It would be easier, I guess, if I had a friend that I could move in with.  That way I could give my roommates the space they need, and have a space for myself, but where I'm at now.  I don't really have a lot that I would consider friends anymore.  Its a dwindling group, and I guess that's growing up, but I'm without family now.  And that small group is having to replace it.  I really wish there was more to do in this town besides the options of going to the multitude of bars.  

There really isn't anything out there, and I have to say I'm jealous of my roommates relationship.  I want someone that can hold me when I'm feeling vulnerable like this, and vice versa for her.  I wouldn't allow her to feel vulnerable.  Its the type of individual I am.  But, my type of girl isn't in this town I live in now.  Hell, I doubt I'll find my type of girl in a larger city.  Or in America for that matter, but I gotta work with what I have.  And that's a steadily dwindling savings account that has to be ready to pay moving expenses this summer, and virtually nowhere to go.  I wouldn't be able to move to a new city on my own.  I know this, but I just don't want to wait until someone else would be willing to join me.   has friends in the place he wants to go, plus his roommates(that are kind of my friends too.  I've only really started hanging out with them recently.).   has friends where he lives, or that are at least close by so he has some companionship, and has Zen.  I don't really have anyone.  My best friend is half a world away, and I miss him.  Though, I think if he were still around we'd already be in a big city, and I would have a harder time building this little family of mine.

I guess what it all comes down to is...I WANT A GIRLFRIEND DAMN IT.

A nice Asian girl, who shares some of my interests, and is maybe a little shy.  Then again, except for the asian part I just described myself.  Why does our all-hot-otaku-girls-are-taken-or-there-is-something-wrong theory always hold true?  

Anyway, this is just me rambling.  Think nothing of it.  Just want to get some stuff out, but I'm willing to try and talk about it.  Gotta get more comfortable talking to others.

Later Days

Despite the drab sounding title, that's kind of a hopeful wish for me.  This journal comes a day late, mainly because I had nothing to write, but now its 2013 so why not make the journal the first day of a brand new year.  

To mark the new year comes the start of my second writing project from a different series from Paranormal called Animus.  Where Paranormal, and Evano, are the mortal realm of my universe.  Animus deals with the world of the afterlife.

I also have some ideas for visual novels, comic serials, and some other shorts involving characters of my universe so hope you enjoy them as they come.  Also, I'm now working on saving for a desktop computer so that I have better capabilities when doing things online and in games, as well as writing and artwork.  So please be patient with me as i get the rest of my life stable.

Later Days

P.S.  I'll be posting Paranormal and other book information here as it becomes relevant.  

Paranormal:
Book 1- Writing= Complete 100%; BETA= Current

Animus:
Book 1- Writing= 1%;